all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
