They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
