It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
