i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
