i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
