I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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