They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
