I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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