First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
