I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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