Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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