I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
