Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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