I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
