It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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