are you still at the devil's house?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
