my soul wont recognize me after tonight
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
