she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
