i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
