New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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