Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize