I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
