Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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