ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
