This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
