Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
