I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Who died my cat blue again?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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