Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
