My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
