just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Randomize
