do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
