Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
It's never too late to be topless.
Are we still banned from the library?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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