Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
