How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Sorry my hands just texted you
They took my balls.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I supernannyed him into submission
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
