I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
