Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
