Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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