Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
