My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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