There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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