So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
