O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
