i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
