don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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