end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize