I'm jealous of your bromance
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
