sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
