i just google imaged poop.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
