we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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