Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Drunk is not a location!
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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