I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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