Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
