I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
