Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
