Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
love makes seman taste better
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
