Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
