Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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