Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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