She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize