just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
