If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
