I seem to have left my pride at pride
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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