just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
either way he was missing a nipple.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Is that strawberry winking at me??
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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