The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
